Jose Contreras is the Spawn of J-Roll & Michael Clarke Duncan

Have you ever wondered what the offspring of Jimmy Rollins and Michael Clarke Duncan would look like? If you have, wonder no longer. It would look exactly like Jose Contreras.

Contreras, the newest addition to the Phillies' pitching staff, finalized a 1-year $1.5 million deal this week. The 38-year-old Contreras was in Philadelphia on Thursday to meet with the media. Through a translator, Contreras told reporters, "I'm very happy to get the opportunity to come here. I want to give my best to the team. I'm ready. I'm prepared to (start) or be in the bullpen. If I have to carry the bats, I'll carry the bats. I just want to win." General Manager Ruben Amaro Jr. spoke also and stated that, in the team's opinion, Contreras is best suited for a relief role. Amaro Jr. went on to describe Contreras as a "low-risk, high-reward type of guy".

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Watch Out For the Bat Boy

Stop ice grillin' the Phillies players, bat boy. I am watching YOU. I don't know what is on your mind, bat boy, but don't even think about doing something slick. You might wear the Phillies' uniform, but it is clear that you are a Yankees fan. It's all over your pale little "I wanna grow up to be like the Robert De Niro character in The Fan " face. The World Champs should be cautious around this kid. He could be dangerous. ------------------------------------------- Follow PhoulBallz.com on Twitter HERE !

Eric B Needs to be Cut (and My Name is Rakim)

While the Phillies are on a hot streak this month, one player on the team is not. Eric Bruntlett is 1-for-12 in July. Since the start of May, Bruntlett's apex in batting average has been .167 on June 14th. Bruntlett's ineptitude can be tolerated no longer. Get rid of this guy NOW! Eric B. is the 2009 Endy Chavez. Remember Endy...the guy who in 2005 managed just 2 hits in his final 42 games played as a Phillie? That is about the sort of output the Phillies are getting from Bruntlett, and it's time to fix this void. Julio Lugo was designated for assignment last week by the Red Sox and is expected to become a free agent. The Metropolitans are rumored to be interested. Why wouldn't the Phillies be interested in a guy who could surely outhit Bruntlett? Lugo was hitting .284 through 37 games played this season with Boston. Suspended Lehigh Valley IronPig Pablo Ozuna is eligible to return next Wednesday. Ozuna is batting .294 through 51 games at triple A. Miguel Cairo is also...

Division Lead Back to 3 Games

Six shut out innings by the bullpen, a diving catch by Jayson Werth and two homeruns by Chase Utley won the game for the Phillies and got their lead in the NL East back to 3 games over the Metropolitans. It was a surprising effort from the bullpen as Scott Eyre, JC Romero, Jack Taschner, Chad Durbin, Ryan Madson and even Chan Ho Park shut down the Mets lineup in the extra inning victory. It was a risky play by Werth, who could have allowed the winning run to score if he hadn't made the catch on the ball batted by David Wright. It was clutch hitting by Utley, who, with his second homerun of the game, gave the Phillies an 11th inning lead that they would not let up. Huge win for the Phillies! ------------------------- Stats to ponder- Jimmy Rollins in the lead off spot this season- 49 games, .208 avg (47-for-226), .244 OBP, 1 HR, 29 runs. Jimmy Rollins batting any place else in the lineup this season- 7 games, .409 avg (9-for-22), .440 OBP, 3 HR, 6 runs. Carlos Ruiz against the Mets ...

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