Skip to main content

Hardly a Hound Dog


Folks, it's time to bid goodbye to Elvis Burrell. The strapping 115 pound English Bulldog is headed to St. Petersburg, Florida with his daddy, phormer Phillie Patrick the Batrick. Pat recently signed a deal to play baseball with the American League champion Rays. Elvis decided it would be a fine idea to join Pat as he begins this new chapter in his professional career, so Poppa-Pat feels as comfortable as possible. It's very remarkable for children to stand by their aging parents as times and living situations change.

In recent years, Elvis became a staple at Phillies phunctions. He was seen at the team's family days, in the clubhouse on game days rocking a jersey with his family name on it, and he'd even partake in spring training. Elvis became such a staple in the Phillies phamily, that the Phillies asked Elvis to lead the World Championship parade on a Budweiser wagon pulled by Clydesdales. Elvis's parents, Pat and mommy Michelle, joined him aboard that wagon to lead things off, in grand fashion.

Elvis in the past has hated Florida, but was won over by the terrific Rays fans and their stadium during the 2008 post season. The hatred began when Elvis was discriminated against for his weight. Daddy Pat's condo association at Clearwater Beach, near the Phillies' spring training home, tried to enforce a 40-pound weight limit on canine residents. This forced the Burrells to relocate. Another thing that bothered Elvis about Florida was the summer heat. Tropicana Field's air conditioning is an easy remedy for the sticky temperatures and humidity.

On his way out of Philadelphia, Elvis wagged his butt nub at the Phillies, their phans, and his bitch Priscilla. There's an age difference between the two, and they've been having some trouble lately. The ex-couple will share custody of their daughter, Lisa Marie.

Elvis has left the building...known as Citizens Bank Park. However, Elvis will return April 3rd and 4th for the final preseason games, also known as the On-deck Series, when his dad's new team visits Philadelphia for a World Series rematch.

Comments

Anonymous said…
This is hysterical! Good luck Elvis...we'll miss you!!!

-Nik Nasty

Popular posts from this blog

This Guy Speaks For All of You

This individual, interviewed by FOX 29 on Friday as the Phillies arrived back at Citizens Bank Park, said it best. When asked how he felt regarding the Phillies, he told Steve Keeley that he was, "Stoked, baby!" The unidentified phanatic then proclaimed, "We are talking about the Fightins here, the Fightins! Said!" Check out the media player below, as the transcribed version certainly does not do this phireball of phandom justice. The Phillies forced game 6 of the National League Championship Series with a 4-2 victory over the Giants in San Francisco on Thursday night. Game 6 will feature Roy Oswalt vs. Jonathan Sanchez in a return pitching match up from game 2. First pitch is scheduled for 7:57 pm EST at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia. Be sure to tune in on 97.3 ESPN's Weekend Sports Guide with Tyrone Johnson this afternoon around 1:15pm to hear me chatting about the Phillies! 97.3 is based in Atlantic City. You can listen live online HERE . _________

McGwire Stays Phony, Despite Admitting Drug Use

Mark McGwire made an effort to publicly come clean today, admitting to the world that he took performance enhancing drugs during his playing career. Steroids and human growth hormones were among the drugs that McGwire admitted to using. MLB Network featured a one on one interview with Bob Costas and McGwire on Monday evening. The broadcast was virtually garbage, thanks to McGwire. Ahead is a list of quotes from McGwire's interview. McGwire repeatedly stated his point of view that there were no dishonorable intentions involved when taking steroids, and that he was merely using them as a means to recover from varying ailments. When asked if he felt like he cheated... "As I look back now...I can see how people would say that. As far as the talent goes and the hand-eye coordination, the ability, the genetics I was given...I don't see it." "I did not take this for any strength purposes." Denial. Read on for similar B.S. He whined about the abuse he'

18-inning Marathon Results in Early Return For Doc

Righty hurler Roy Halladay , who was slated to appear in another rehab outing for Double-A Reading on Sunday will return to the big league club instead, following a marathon of baseball Saturday night at Citizens Bank Park. In Saturday night's (Sunday morning's?) 12-7 defeat at the hands of the Diamondbacks, the Phillies sent nine pitchers and two position players to the mound to make it through the lengthy affair. Starter Ethan Martin could not escape the opening frame, as he allowed three hits, three walks and three earned runs. Over the 4 2/3 innings that followed, Luis Garcia and Zach Miner allowed a combined four earned runs. The remainder of the relief corps including Cesar Jimenez , Justin De Fratus , Jonathan Papelbon , Jake Diekman and B.J Rosenberg combined for 6 2/3 scoreless innings while Sunday's originally scheduled starter Tyler Cloyd was called upon to toss five scoreless frames. As the need to use Cloyd approached, the Phillies d