Skip to main content

Hardly a Hound Dog


Folks, it's time to bid goodbye to Elvis Burrell. The strapping 115 pound English Bulldog is headed to St. Petersburg, Florida with his daddy, phormer Phillie Patrick the Batrick. Pat recently signed a deal to play baseball with the American League champion Rays. Elvis decided it would be a fine idea to join Pat as he begins this new chapter in his professional career, so Poppa-Pat feels as comfortable as possible. It's very remarkable for children to stand by their aging parents as times and living situations change.

In recent years, Elvis became a staple at Phillies phunctions. He was seen at the team's family days, in the clubhouse on game days rocking a jersey with his family name on it, and he'd even partake in spring training. Elvis became such a staple in the Phillies phamily, that the Phillies asked Elvis to lead the World Championship parade on a Budweiser wagon pulled by Clydesdales. Elvis's parents, Pat and mommy Michelle, joined him aboard that wagon to lead things off, in grand fashion.

Elvis in the past has hated Florida, but was won over by the terrific Rays fans and their stadium during the 2008 post season. The hatred began when Elvis was discriminated against for his weight. Daddy Pat's condo association at Clearwater Beach, near the Phillies' spring training home, tried to enforce a 40-pound weight limit on canine residents. This forced the Burrells to relocate. Another thing that bothered Elvis about Florida was the summer heat. Tropicana Field's air conditioning is an easy remedy for the sticky temperatures and humidity.

On his way out of Philadelphia, Elvis wagged his butt nub at the Phillies, their phans, and his bitch Priscilla. There's an age difference between the two, and they've been having some trouble lately. The ex-couple will share custody of their daughter, Lisa Marie.

Elvis has left the building...known as Citizens Bank Park. However, Elvis will return April 3rd and 4th for the final preseason games, also known as the On-deck Series, when his dad's new team visits Philadelphia for a World Series rematch.

Comments

Anonymous said…
This is hysterical! Good luck Elvis...we'll miss you!!!

-Nik Nasty

Popular posts from this blog

Watch Out For the Bat Boy

Stop ice grillin' the Phillies players, bat boy. I am watching YOU. I don't know what is on your mind, bat boy, but don't even think about doing something slick. You might wear the Phillies' uniform, but it is clear that you are a Yankees fan. It's all over your pale little "I wanna grow up to be like the Robert De Niro character in The Fan " face. The World Champs should be cautious around this kid. He could be dangerous. ------------------------------------------- Follow PhoulBallz.com on Twitter HERE !

Eric B Needs to be Cut (and My Name is Rakim)

While the Phillies are on a hot streak this month, one player on the team is not. Eric Bruntlett is 1-for-12 in July. Since the start of May, Bruntlett's apex in batting average has been .167 on June 14th. Bruntlett's ineptitude can be tolerated no longer. Get rid of this guy NOW! Eric B. is the 2009 Endy Chavez. Remember Endy...the guy who in 2005 managed just 2 hits in his final 42 games played as a Phillie? That is about the sort of output the Phillies are getting from Bruntlett, and it's time to fix this void. Julio Lugo was designated for assignment last week by the Red Sox and is expected to become a free agent. The Metropolitans are rumored to be interested. Why wouldn't the Phillies be interested in a guy who could surely outhit Bruntlett? Lugo was hitting .284 through 37 games played this season with Boston. Suspended Lehigh Valley IronPig Pablo Ozuna is eligible to return next Wednesday. Ozuna is batting .294 through 51 games at triple A. Miguel Cairo is also...

Division Lead Back to 3 Games

Six shut out innings by the bullpen, a diving catch by Jayson Werth and two homeruns by Chase Utley won the game for the Phillies and got their lead in the NL East back to 3 games over the Metropolitans. It was a surprising effort from the bullpen as Scott Eyre, JC Romero, Jack Taschner, Chad Durbin, Ryan Madson and even Chan Ho Park shut down the Mets lineup in the extra inning victory. It was a risky play by Werth, who could have allowed the winning run to score if he hadn't made the catch on the ball batted by David Wright. It was clutch hitting by Utley, who, with his second homerun of the game, gave the Phillies an 11th inning lead that they would not let up. Huge win for the Phillies! ------------------------- Stats to ponder- Jimmy Rollins in the lead off spot this season- 49 games, .208 avg (47-for-226), .244 OBP, 1 HR, 29 runs. Jimmy Rollins batting any place else in the lineup this season- 7 games, .409 avg (9-for-22), .440 OBP, 3 HR, 6 runs. Carlos Ruiz against the Mets ...