Skip to main content

Letters from...

By
In the news this week, we heard about the tradition started by Ronald Reagan of outgoing US presidents leaving the incoming new president a note, in the oval office desk. I really think it's quite annoying that the media was permitted to have photo opportunities with the letter but the public is not permitted to learn what might be contained in the letter, but all-in-all, it's a pretty cool tradition.

This presidential custom got me thinking what it might be like if the same sort of practice stood in place for baseball managerial changes. What if Larry Bowa wrote a letter to his unknown managerial successor, prior to leaving Gary Varsho in charge in the closing days of the 2004 Phillies season? What would that letter look like...?

To whom it may concern,
Hi, my name is Larry. I was the manager here before. The team stunk and they always blamed ME. Some guy named Patrick was always causing issues and snubbing me. The guy could barely bat his weight, for average, and he wanted to blame ME. Once, he joined up with some reserve players and they dyed their hair and told people I was to blame for the team's shortcomings. My advice, if this ever happens to you, would be to find the lead hair dyer and release him...especially if his name is Tyler. Guys named Tyler just can't be trusted, in my experience.

There are really good local spots you should know about like where to get your
hair cut, where to get good hoagies and where to find a massage place that throws
in a tug at the end. Vuk is the guy to ask about all that.

I'm really popular here and the phans seriously dig me. My number is 10, so try not to let anyone wear that going forward, okay?

Oh and lastly, tell that (expletive deleted) Ed Wade to (explicit phrase deleted) and (expletive deleted) his stupid (expletive deleted) hair cut.
Sincerely, L-Bo.


Alright, and what if Terry Francona, on his way out in 1997, wrote a letter to Larry Bowa?


Dearest Larry,
Hey, it's Tito...just wanted to say GOOD LUCK...a-ha-ha! This whole franchise is in the toilet. Matt Beech is the #2 starter! Hahahah!

Whew, holy crap, it's great to be free! Alright, I'm gonna go interview with a real baseball franchise and win a lot. Tell Eddy I said he can (suggestive word deleted) my (explicit word deleted).
Peace,
T.F.
Labels:

Comments

Amanda said…
Hahhaha, that was pretty funny. Good work. I remember when they all bleeched their hair. J-Mike and Burrell started it, and then the whole team did it.
January 22, 2009 at 9:04 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Rappers in Phillies Caps

By
Weekend greetings to you phine pholks out there. Today's post features pictures of rappers wearing Phillies caps. Why rappers in Phillies caps, you ask? Because... Any other questions? We will start things off properly by going with a highly recognizable hip hop star. 50 Cent stays constantly relavant by consistantly creating radio friendly material to help sell (G) units, while he "keeps it real" by still rapping about the thug life he lived before becoming the 2nd highest earning black entertainer in America. 50 is seen here in a recent interview rocking a throw-back Phillies cap. Next up we'll use a throw-back screen cap from what may be the very first major appearance by a rapper wearing Phillies gear. Chuck D, of legendary rap group Public Enemy, wore a Phillies cap in the music video for rap anthem Fight The Power in 1989. The song was the lead single from the soundtrack for Spike Lee's film Do The Right Thing . Next up we'll go with some home grown tal...
3 comments
Read more

Ibanez Makes Hall of Fame History

By
It's every player's dream to be enshrined in the National Baseball Hall of Fame. For Raul Ibanez , who hasn't had the sort of career that would ensure his face would one day be cast in bronze and displayed on the Hall walls, it was necessary to find a less common way to earn a spot in the annals of baseball history. Recently, Ibanez became the very first big league player to spend the night in the plaque gallery at the storied Hall of Fame. As detailed on the National Baseball Hall of Fame's website , Ibanez accompanied his son's Little League travel team to the Hall, where they participated in the Museum's "Extra Innings Overnight", a program that allows groups to travel to Cooperstown, NY in order learn more about the great game of baseball. Ibanez's son, Raul Jr., is 11-years-old and plays baseball in Lower Merion, PA. The article on the Hall of Fame's website quoted Ibanez as being excited to see some recent Phillies milestones represent...
Post a Comment
Read more

PhoulBallz Interview: Off-season check in with 1B Kyle Martin

By
Kyle Martin, image- Jay Floyd First base prospect Kyle Martin grew up in South Carolina as a Phillies fan, admiring slugger Jim Thome , so it was a dream come true for his entire family when the organization made him their 4th round draft choice this year. A lefty batting power threat, Martin quickly made his professional debut with Class A Lakewood. The transition to the minors seemed easy, as the 23-year-old tallied a .279 average with five home runs and 37 RBI in 65 games for the BlueClaws. I recently spoke with the University of South Carolina product about his remarkable 2015 as a whole and he ranked how playing in the Phillies organization ranks against playing for Team USA in this year's Premiere 12 tournament. Read ahead for that interview and click here for my previous feature on the six-foot-two 240-pounder. -Are you still enjoying downtime right now or have you reached the stage of your off-season where you are back to baseball activities and knocking the ru...
Post a Comment
Read more