Skip to main content

Letters from...

By
In the news this week, we heard about the tradition started by Ronald Reagan of outgoing US presidents leaving the incoming new president a note, in the oval office desk. I really think it's quite annoying that the media was permitted to have photo opportunities with the letter but the public is not permitted to learn what might be contained in the letter, but all-in-all, it's a pretty cool tradition.

This presidential custom got me thinking what it might be like if the same sort of practice stood in place for baseball managerial changes. What if Larry Bowa wrote a letter to his unknown managerial successor, prior to leaving Gary Varsho in charge in the closing days of the 2004 Phillies season? What would that letter look like...?

To whom it may concern,
Hi, my name is Larry. I was the manager here before. The team stunk and they always blamed ME. Some guy named Patrick was always causing issues and snubbing me. The guy could barely bat his weight, for average, and he wanted to blame ME. Once, he joined up with some reserve players and they dyed their hair and told people I was to blame for the team's shortcomings. My advice, if this ever happens to you, would be to find the lead hair dyer and release him...especially if his name is Tyler. Guys named Tyler just can't be trusted, in my experience.

There are really good local spots you should know about like where to get your
hair cut, where to get good hoagies and where to find a massage place that throws
in a tug at the end. Vuk is the guy to ask about all that.

I'm really popular here and the phans seriously dig me. My number is 10, so try not to let anyone wear that going forward, okay?

Oh and lastly, tell that (expletive deleted) Ed Wade to (explicit phrase deleted) and (expletive deleted) his stupid (expletive deleted) hair cut.
Sincerely, L-Bo.


Alright, and what if Terry Francona, on his way out in 1997, wrote a letter to Larry Bowa?


Dearest Larry,
Hey, it's Tito...just wanted to say GOOD LUCK...a-ha-ha! This whole franchise is in the toilet. Matt Beech is the #2 starter! Hahahah!

Whew, holy crap, it's great to be free! Alright, I'm gonna go interview with a real baseball franchise and win a lot. Tell Eddy I said he can (suggestive word deleted) my (explicit word deleted).
Peace,
T.F.
Labels:

Comments

Amanda said…
Hahhaha, that was pretty funny. Good work. I remember when they all bleeched their hair. J-Mike and Burrell started it, and then the whole team did it.
January 22, 2009 at 9:04 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sunday School: Phillies History Lesson 73

By
Danny Ozark was the Phillies' manager from 1973-1979. During his tenure as the team's general, Ozark led Philadelphia to three straight division titles. In his playing days, Ozark was a first baseman, who was a career minor leaguer in the Dodgers system. When Ozark took over the team in 1973, the Phillies were fresh off 5 consecutive losing seasons and 3 straight last place finishes. During his first season in charge, the Phillies would again finish in last place, 20 games under .500, but as his core of young talent, like Mike Schmidt and Larry Bowa, developed, the Phillies' win totals rose. Within 2 years, the Phillies were above .500 and in the playoff hunt until late in the season and the most successful era of Phillies history was about to begin. By 1976, the Phillies were headed to the post-season for the first time since 1950. The Phils would enjoy a 10-game lead over their nearest division rival at the midway point of the season. Despite a lul, which saw their lead d...
2 comments
Read more

PhoulBallz Interview: First round pick Bryson Stott

By
Bryson Stott, image- Jay Floyd Shortstop Bryson Stott , the Phillies' first round draft selection this year, has enjoyed a successful initial pro campaign.  En route to being recognized as an All-Star for the Class A short-season Williamsport Crosscutters the 21-year-old UNLV product has tallied a .295 average with six home runs and 25 RBI in 45 minor league contests. Last week I spoke with the lefty hitting Stott to discuss his transition to professional baseball, joining the Phillies organization and plenty more.  Read ahead for that interview.  -Obviously, your performance and the production on the field is going well, but how do you feel you have adapted to the pro life? It feels good.  You hear about the everyday grind, but you don't really believe it till you feel it. I would say that's the difference between college and the pros, is you're not practicing, you're playing games every day.  I would say that's the biggest difference.  But I...
Post a Comment
Read more

Velasquez shut down, Eflin on deck?

By
Eflin with Reading in 2015, image- Jay Floyd Following Vincent Velasquez leaving his start after just two pitches for the Phillies on Wednesday, righty prospect Zach Eflin was pulled from his start for Triple-A Lehigh Valley at Gwinnett. The 22-year-old sports a 5-1 record with a 3.14 ERA and a .210 batting average against in 10 starts for the IronPigs this season. He could take the place of Velasquez if he is required to miss any additional time. Initial word on Velasquez after he threw two fastballs that clocked in the 86-87 MPH range (considerably slower than the 94 MPH he averages) and was swiftly pulled from his outing, is that he has a biceps strain. He'll be further evaluated in the coming days. Prior to the regular season, Eflin got a taste of competing against big leaguers when he was charged with 12 runs (nine earned) on 11 hits while striking out two and walking one with a wild pitch in three innings of work in an intrasquad exhibition that pitted the Phils...
Post a Comment
Read more