It's the End of the World As We Know It

...And we should all feel fine. I know where everyone's heads are. Some phans may be thinking the worst. The Phillies have begun the pre-season with 3 losses and no wins. How can we ever recover? Relax...it's not that bad.

I'll tell you method #1 for recovery- release Adam Eaton. Method #1, completed! That is all.

Still not feeling better? Just consider that these games mean nothing. And take notice of the fine spring performances so far for Jamie Moyer, Carlos Carrasco, "Jay" Happ, John Mayberry Jr., Raul Ibanez, Pablo Ozuna, Greg Dobbs, Jason Donald, JC Romero and Gary Majewski. Oh also, forget about the awful spring performances so far from Andrew Carpenter, Sergio Escalona and Joe Bisenius.

So, back to Eaton. Yes, the Phillies finally bit the proverbial bullet and gulped down hard to eat the $9 million that they owe him. Eaton spoke to reporters after the release and the most intriguing comment he made was this..."I know there's a lot still left in my arm." He also insisted he's healthy and pondered that he should have opted for surgery last offseason. Read plenty more Eaton quotes in multiple posts over at The Wonderful World of Scott Lauber.

Adam Eaton will forever be mentioned as Pat Gillick's (only?) huge error in judgement. Yes, Gillick was the general manager who returned a championship parade to Philadelphia after a 25-year drought, but Adam Eaton underperformed so badly, that he will forever be the stain that the folks over at "World Series Trophy Cleaners" could not get out of Gillick's Hawaiian Phillies shirt.

Phriend of PhoulBallz "MLR Joe" points out that Eaton's Wikipedia page has already been updated with this terrific ph'n news.

In other news, ailing Indians outfielder Grady Sizemore has backed out of the World Baseball Classic and Shane Victorino has been chosen to take his place. Shane will join Jimmy Rollins on the team USA roster. Other Phillies in the WBC are Carlos Ruiz with team Panama, Matt Stairs with team Canada, and the Australian triple threat of prospects- Drew Naylor, Joel Naughton and Brad Harman.

The Lakewood BlueClaws announced their bobble head giveaways for the season, this week. For you Phils phans that either got shut out of the sold out Charlie Manuel bobble head night at CBP on April 28th, or simply can't make it, our friends the BlueClaws will have a Charlie Manuel World Series Champions bobble head doll giveaway on June 15th.

Lastly, here is your official Pat Burrell on the Rays in Spring Training Report. Patrick the Batrick batted twice in the Rays' spring opener on Wednesday and was hitless in two at bats. Today, Elvis's daddy also batted twice and got a single.

Heroes- Fight of the Century

VS. It's a big day for your boy, Jay Ballz . No work, X-Men Origins: Wolverine premieres, our Phillies face the Metropolitans for the first time this season and tailgating for BOTH doesn't sound all that absurd to me. Anyway, I surveyed some qualified phans and got several opinions on how exactly a fight might go down if the mutant hero Wolverine faced off against Phillies hero Matt Stairs. Well known blogger, Chris, of I've Made a Huge Tiny Mistake , kept it real and said the following- "Wolverine has adamantium ( indestructible metal substance) claws, so that's a great advantage. Stairs' Wonder Bat is neutralized there. See, the problem becomes Wolverine's ability to recover (he has a regenerative power) faster. Stairs is merely human. Sure, he has a goatee, and goatees are great, but they're great for saving sauce, not for defeating mutants. I think Wolverine takes it in a fight to the death in about 15 minutes because Stairs simply doesn'...

Michael Taylor Q&A

Michael Taylor is currently leading the Reading Phillies' offense and is near the top of the Eastern League in most stat categories (3rd in batting avg- .342, 3rd in HR- 14, tied for second in RBI- 55, 2nd in OPS.- .994, tied for 1st in runs scored- 49, tied for 1st in hits...). The 23 year old Taylor is 6 feet 6 inches tall and has quickly grabbed the attention of phans and media alike as a top prospect to watch. I spoke with Mike Taylor over the weekend, and here is that interview. With all the big stats and being among the league leaders in so many categories, do you think you're ready for the next step? It's kind of a difficult question. Do you have anything left to prove here? There's always something to prove. There's stuff to prove every game. I mean that's one thing that's very interesting about this game. It's such a numbers oriented game. You're only as good as your last "whatever statistical category that someone's valuing". ...

Watch Out For the Bat Boy

Stop ice grillin' the Phillies players, bat boy. I am watching YOU. I don't know what is on your mind, bat boy, but don't even think about doing something slick. You might wear the Phillies' uniform, but it is clear that you are a Yankees fan. It's all over your pale little "I wanna grow up to be like the Robert De Niro character in The Fan " face. The World Champs should be cautious around this kid. He could be dangerous. ------------------------------------------- Follow PhoulBallz.com on Twitter HERE !

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