It's the End of the World As We Know It

...And we should all feel fine. I know where everyone's heads are. Some phans may be thinking the worst. The Phillies have begun the pre-season with 3 losses and no wins. How can we ever recover? Relax...it's not that bad.

I'll tell you method #1 for recovery- release Adam Eaton. Method #1, completed! That is all.

Still not feeling better? Just consider that these games mean nothing. And take notice of the fine spring performances so far for Jamie Moyer, Carlos Carrasco, "Jay" Happ, John Mayberry Jr., Raul Ibanez, Pablo Ozuna, Greg Dobbs, Jason Donald, JC Romero and Gary Majewski. Oh also, forget about the awful spring performances so far from Andrew Carpenter, Sergio Escalona and Joe Bisenius.

So, back to Eaton. Yes, the Phillies finally bit the proverbial bullet and gulped down hard to eat the $9 million that they owe him. Eaton spoke to reporters after the release and the most intriguing comment he made was this..."I know there's a lot still left in my arm." He also insisted he's healthy and pondered that he should have opted for surgery last offseason. Read plenty more Eaton quotes in multiple posts over at The Wonderful World of Scott Lauber.

Adam Eaton will forever be mentioned as Pat Gillick's (only?) huge error in judgement. Yes, Gillick was the general manager who returned a championship parade to Philadelphia after a 25-year drought, but Adam Eaton underperformed so badly, that he will forever be the stain that the folks over at "World Series Trophy Cleaners" could not get out of Gillick's Hawaiian Phillies shirt.

Phriend of PhoulBallz "MLR Joe" points out that Eaton's Wikipedia page has already been updated with this terrific ph'n news.

In other news, ailing Indians outfielder Grady Sizemore has backed out of the World Baseball Classic and Shane Victorino has been chosen to take his place. Shane will join Jimmy Rollins on the team USA roster. Other Phillies in the WBC are Carlos Ruiz with team Panama, Matt Stairs with team Canada, and the Australian triple threat of prospects- Drew Naylor, Joel Naughton and Brad Harman.

The Lakewood BlueClaws announced their bobble head giveaways for the season, this week. For you Phils phans that either got shut out of the sold out Charlie Manuel bobble head night at CBP on April 28th, or simply can't make it, our friends the BlueClaws will have a Charlie Manuel World Series Champions bobble head doll giveaway on June 15th.

Lastly, here is your official Pat Burrell on the Rays in Spring Training Report. Patrick the Batrick batted twice in the Rays' spring opener on Wednesday and was hitless in two at bats. Today, Elvis's daddy also batted twice and got a single.

Heroes- Fight of the Century

VS. It's a big day for your boy, Jay Ballz . No work, X-Men Origins: Wolverine premieres, our Phillies face the Metropolitans for the first time this season and tailgating for BOTH doesn't sound all that absurd to me. Anyway, I surveyed some qualified phans and got several opinions on how exactly a fight might go down if the mutant hero Wolverine faced off against Phillies hero Matt Stairs. Well known blogger, Chris, of I've Made a Huge Tiny Mistake , kept it real and said the following- "Wolverine has adamantium ( indestructible metal substance) claws, so that's a great advantage. Stairs' Wonder Bat is neutralized there. See, the problem becomes Wolverine's ability to recover (he has a regenerative power) faster. Stairs is merely human. Sure, he has a goatee, and goatees are great, but they're great for saving sauce, not for defeating mutants. I think Wolverine takes it in a fight to the death in about 15 minutes because Stairs simply doesn'...

Jealous Ones Envy

Joe Blanton continues to excel and prove his worth in the Phillies pitching rotation. In his latest outing on Sunday, Blanton threw 8 strong innings, striking out 6, while walking just 1 and surrendering 2 earned runs, improving his record to 7-4. This season in July, Joe is 3-0 over four starts with 22 K's, 5 walks and a 1.21 ERA. Over his last 6 starts, Joe's ERA is 1.94. As a member of the Phillies, Blanton has a 3.84 ERA after the all star break with a 5-0 record. The Phillies are 20-12 (.625 winning percentage) in games that Blanton has started, since being acquired last July. Combined this season against other National League playoff contenders St. Louis, Chicago and Los Angeles, Blanton has a combined 1.67 ERA in 4 starts with a 2-0 record. Blanton is on such a sizzling run that the Bowling Green Hot Rods, a Tampa Bay Rays farm team, will host a Joe Blanton bobble head give away tomorrow. Bowling Green will host Joe's mother, father and sister for the event, as Joe...

...Got My Learn On

The weekend is just about here, but it's not feeling great so far. My college hoops team lost, and my mail included a huge image of Mets star David Wright on the cover of The Sporting News. "All Wright"? Um, I don't really believe it is. Aside from the non-appealing cover, it's the MLB preview issue, so allow me to share some things I learned from this week's magazine. 1- Former Phillie, and regular Sporting News columnist, Todd Jones has gone insane. Jones predicts that Jamie Moyer will win the NL Cy Young Award, and that Manny Ramirez will run for governor of California after the Dodgers win the 2009 World Series. 2- Ichiro Suzuki rocks the party that rocks the body. Metropolitans reliever Francisco Rodriguez compares Jose Reyes to Ichiro, saying they do many of the same things. I must have missed Ichiro performing rehearsed celebratory hand jives after getting a hit or scoring a run in a losing effort. And I know I missed Ichiro getting caught cheating on...

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